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my awkward approach to your perfection
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| there's been times when you've pulled me apart, and others when i'm in one piece |
[25 Jul 2004|04:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
:::::: |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
:::::: |
] |
beautiful is a word i describe everything about you
you're that perfect match
and strike up the fire in my heart
it wasn't long before i knew
it's that warmth i've become so attached
i don't want it to get that hard
need is when you're not here
it's like a head without a mind
without either, nothing will go together
my eyes have shed every last tear
i don't want to miss you when i need to find
if this feeling will last forever
every night i've been dreaming of you
your eyes, your smile; all seem so clear
instead i'm only thinking of you
when i wish you were right here
look what's torn us apart
a friendship split at the wrist
i've wanted you in my heart
while you just resist
show a smile to show you still care
i broke you first, its time for me to hurt
while you're not standing there
i've tried to make this work
it's been harder for me to go a certain direction
falling off course has become permanent
my awkward approach to your perfection
how much this could have all meant
even if the sun stays up bright
there's always a rain cloud over my head
when will i see the sign that it's all right
not to feel so alone in my own bed
|
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| kill me? i attack right back motherfucker |
[01 Jul 2004|02:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 working |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mudvayne - internal primates forever |
] |
ahhh i found this on a forum i go to... this is an awesome, but long story.. so worth the read.
Ah, Revenge
Monday, June 14, 2004
( sweet revenge )
enjoy :)
|
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| But I take it like a man, you beg for mercy |
[21 Jun 2004|11:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
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muse - hysteria |
] |
hooooooly shit. the past two days have been AMAZING. there isn't really any way i can describe it, it's been really funny; and a helluva lot better than studying for finals (cause i was done last week :P)
well, jump back to saturday...
-> it was sydney's graduation party over her house and i was invited. however i wasn't really sure who else was coming, and i definetly needed someone who was gonna make it the life of the party. who did i bring with me? drew. he already knew syd's older sister, but it's not like anyone would NOT allow drew to come to their party. you'd have to be an idiot, or tj camponelli.. whichever. the party was really fun and we got a lot of laughs. swimming for a little bit in the pool, going on a moonbounce, playing volleyball on the COLD COLD grass. it was awesome though.
( Saturday pictures - the Party )
then sunday.
-> the big day graduation and then one of the GREATEST parties, because there actually was enough for everyone to do to stay up til 5. graduations are self explainatory, so i'll jumpstart to the pictures, cause that's what you're all reading this for :P
( Sunday pictures - the Graduation )
so later on..
-> weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. then it only got better from there on. the up-all night was from 8:30 - 5. the theme to decorate the school had to do something with international stuff. because they gave up a "passport" with our senior picture and we had to get stamps from different locations in the school. i took beads and tried to do a mardi-gras kinda thing.. but no one flashed =/. i didnt get to do laser tag, but i spent a lot of time with what was in the gym. they had monster inflatable obstacle courses that you can have two people compete on. they had a bungee cord one, and another where you fight with huge batons or w/e, then one where you climb up a huge inflatable mountain. there was also bingo near the cafe, and inside of the cafe was nascar racing, a money grab machine, and food. duh. at about 2, there was a hypnotist who did a really awesome job with getting a bunch of people to do the funniest things. i got some pics of it with my camera and phone camera. ugh, then i needed sleep.. so i did.
( Sunday pictures - Up-All night )
ugh. that's all. and i've got work in 3 hours :[
i got 5 hours of sleep.. and i think some people decided on staying up.. i guess cause they could. either way, this thing BETTER save because im not doing it over again.
CONGRATS TO 2004!!!
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| ddduuhhhh. |
[16 Jun 2004|12:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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muse - hysteria |
] |
for all you people in berlin and haven't joined up the local community ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) berlinhigh, i put something up that i really want everyone to see..</span>
</a>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) </span>
</span>
</span>
If there is one person you can't stop thinking about,
Post this same exact sentence in your journal.
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| when it all comes to an end.... |
[20 May 2004|01:40pm] |
There comes a time when things must not be seen by everyone, and for that reason, I have turned over to Friends Only
Leave me a comment, maybe i'll add you..
If you're already added, you're here to stay.
we'll see how long this will last...
|
|
| ........ |
[19 May 2004|06:10pm] |
:(
man.......
|
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| ahhh the show.. the show... |
[18 May 2004|11:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 & sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ringing in my ears |
] |
got home not too long ago from the concert and i can barely hear, but that's alright :P
if you didn't know already.. it was 40 below summer,Flaw,Ill Nino and one local band opening up 'Trapnote'.
so Trapnote comes on.. ehh they weren't bad.. the only thing that ruined it was the volume on their vocals.. could barely hear the guy.
then 40 below came on.... mmmm they played songs like Taxicab confessions, F.E., Rope, Rain and a few others. this is when the crowd started to move around a little more.
Flaw comes up, and i'm sure a bunch of people in the crowd were fans, as well as Ill nino fans.. but Flaw comes on and thats when the moshing began. It wasn't any of that hardcore shit with the swinging of the arms.. also the security was watching 1/2 the time and actually stepped in to stop the moshing :/.. but it was still good. they played Recognize, Payback, Whole, Medicate, You've Changed, Only the strong, and some others.
fiiiiinally.. Ill nino comes on and the crowd is all pumped now, and a little tired :P.. pulled out the drums and everything and put on a damn good show. played songs like Liar, Lifeless Life, With you, I am loco, God Save us, Te Amo-I hate you, and some others.
all around a good show =)
thanks to molly for wishing me a good time andddddd when i got home...
mel7l2: ahhhh hope ur having the time of ur life
darkened eyes x: ahh
darkened eyes x: i hope you have fun!
darkened eyes x: i love you !!
darkened eyes x: <3
thanks <3 :)
(girls love to start off with 'ahh', eh?) =)
anyways, i need to shower cause i smell like cigarettes and i need some drugs for this cold.. GOOD NIGHT!
|
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| lost without you.. but does it even matter? |
[17 May 2004|09:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 coughing/sniffling |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the mars volta - inertiatic esp |
] |
raaaww- *cough* *cough* *sniff* -wwrrrrr
my bad.
the cold is slowly becoming more of a nuisance and it's starting to make feel drowsy.. and you know all the rest. i've got 4 days to rid of it =)
to be honest, i think this weekend will be more of a highlight for me then summer.. and that's just make big expectations (think of all the other times i had big expectations though :/)
2mor night is the concert.. RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOCK!... flaw ill nino 40below summer.. can't wait. it'll be tame compared to what's to expect for Ozzfest this year.. but i hope to mess around as well as getting messed up.. maybe :P
NYY 22 15
Boston 22 16
BOW DOWN!
it's nice to know my parents are oblivious to caller ID... the marines office called LAST friday and i just found this out today because i was going through the ID before i cleared out the calls.. grrrrreat. i was at work when they called and my parents weren't home yet.. but they usually check it, right? guess not.
today (including the cold) made everything seem sluggish, slow, or just plain tiring.. and i hate it. gym was alright because we stopped playing flag football, and went on with softball.. drew also played with us, in his 3rd gym class for the day ;p.
seems like prom wasn't all the exciting.. instead the whole thing about what happened at Chaduekiwitz's house WAS... considering Mike wasn't even there when it all happened. o snapppp. i actually think Ray deserved it.. he's one to always talk shit and never have enough to back things up.. and look where it got him.
i hate it when i'm a minute late for a class.. i have to get a late pass because the teacher is an insensitive faggot.. and i end up back at the class 10 minutes later with the late pass.. i don't get how that works.. i end up missing more class time by getting a pass that makes me later. meh.
i finally got done with doing 4 days of gnazzo's in a row.. OH and did i mention the whole name change to 'Roger's Marketplace' has already begun? ack. the carriages all have new labels on them.. i guess over the next few weeks, a lot of things are gonna be changed.. the new name is so homosexual it's sad. atleast i don't have much longer there anyways.
uhhhh what else, what else
*brainstorm*
oh yeah! last night on the trampoline was mmmmad fun, right sarah? mhm. also including the 3 1/2 hours of basketball i had earlier that day.. sundway was definetly a turn around from saturday.
i hope some good movies are on tonight.. because as much as i wanna get sleep, i just don't wanna cough in my sleep wake up with a sore throat.. so how am i supposed to be anticipating sleep when it's something i don't want.. :(  nigga plzzzzzzzzz
that's all. BYE.
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| let me stand and get a look at you... seems beautiful is true, and i'm loving the view |
[16 May 2004|03:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
pitchshifter - genius |
] |
first off...
Car commercial gone wrong....
http://www.leksus.com/Videos/werbung.mpg
Turn your sound up high, because you can just hear the car behind the bush where it starts loosing control. And you hear the driver screaming for his life.
well.. another weekend.. came and went.. and of course, it didn't go as i expected it to go :/.. i'm just hoping the next weekend.. will go as planned, just ONE weekend to go right PLEASE :(
i didn't get to hang out with joe, or anyone else(for very long) because i called joe's cell.. and it was in his car :/.. so by 11 i talked to rory and he said i could come over.. by the time i got there, everyone was almost gone :/. jill had to go home and matt ponte had to go somewhere at 11.. so yeah, great timing once again.
of course, i didn't get to talk to someone when i wanted to.. really badly, i just need a chance to say something that i've been meaning to for a while now, and i haven't had an oppurtunity to do it. every time, or every chance i get that comes and goes, where i could have said something to her, i just get more pissed off at myself and everyone else.. it's not helping :/.. she's probably reading this right now and knows who she is.. and i'd like to just get one time with you, whenever, just to talk with you.. just to say everything that's been on my mind for so long because there's so much i want to change.. and i haven't been able to :(
it doesn't help that i'm slowly coming down with a cold.. weee. and another bullshit week of school, i used to hate school.. but i never used the word 'hate' strongly enough.. now i really mean it.. the same bullshit schedule and teachers i hate to even look at.. gaahh.
i love to bitch, that is all.
|
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| the more time goes on, the weaker i become |
[15 May 2004|03:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
three days grace - take me under |
] |
:/ + :) = :|
getting out of school early = good
work @ 9 til 3 = mehhhh.
good night? = no idea
so everything is mixed up, and i don't know where things are going to fall. i talked wit mike p at work.. he's going through some messed up shit.. and i actually could use an experience of my own that related to what he's going through.. and it actually seemed logical and everything, except it wasn't what he wanted.. but it might happen.
he's been hanging out with a girl a few times and this weekend she was gonna be in boston and he called her a few times during the week.. one time they talked, one time he left a message, and then thursday he thought the last message was dumb so he made a newer one,etc etc.. and he thought he sounded like a psycho or something doing that, cause now she hasn't called him since and he's wondering what to do :/. i told him a story of someone who i was with, not answering calls..meh. if that girl had the oppurtunity to talk to mike.. why wouldn't she? i mean people have reasons but she could atleast tell him at anytime she didn't want to talk to him ever again.. he'd rather take that then be wondering what's going with this current situation. avoiding messes with people.. i'd know.(heh) but i think talkin with him made it easier for him to think.. and he neeeeds to sleep more, which he hasn't been. + we also talked about never having high expectations.. and if anyone knows me well enough.. they know i hate to expect anything, because it's just shit if nothing happens, and with ME.. i know not a lot does.
err.. so. yeah. no prom tonight.. maybe i'll chill with joe and find something to do, i'm not gonna let this night/weekend go to waste.. cause im getting tired of it ;/
i'm gonna go run soon, cause i've been doing it like everyday and it just gets easier for me.. i actually HATE doing it every other day because something will cramp up or hurt, which annoys me more than anything.
i haven't got my ticket for ill nino/flaw/40 below show yet.. should be here soon, and it's this tuesday.. been awhile since i went to a show.
only 14 hours of work this week, and most of it is on sunday and monday.. so the whooooole rest of the week is open til saturday morning/afternoon.. which isn't bad.
mehhhhhhhh.
|
|
| so much going on... |
[13 May 2004|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 satisfied |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
atreyu - the crimson |
] |
alright.
here's a ( rap )that i made for mel.. she wanted one and she got one.. im happy she likes it :)
something i ( wrote ) during law class, while i had my headphones on.. and i got yelled at cause i wasn't paying attention to bruno telling retarded stories.
this kid, paul, took one piece of work i wrote and put it on a picture he made.. not bad at all.
weeeeeeee.
|
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| give the best you got, giving up everything so you can never stop |
[13 May 2004|03:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indifferent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
REV.9 - hissyfit |
] |
this heat is actually annoying.. the humidy atleast. how's it feel to take a shower, only to sweat right after driving yourself off? gahh
today was extremely short, with the accident thing and all, nothing exciting and nothing that i decided to go see :P
physics, i slept through part of it, listening to music/bowling on the cellphone.. but why would i wanna see a disney video on colors. meh.
gym consisted of nothing but going outside and insulting 1/2 of the people in the class
running this morning before i went to school was mixed as far as positives and negatives went.
+ i got a good workout, went to the CC for a little
- the heat.. it was almost 85 at 9 am.
+ listened to some good music, jamming while i was running ;p
- sweating constantly even after i showered.. ugh, heatwhat happened to winter? :P
:sighs:
can't wait til saturday though.. im already glad im not going to prom but i'm gonna make sure that im 'busy' the whole night ;p.. who knows what'll happen.. but it's gonna be chill.
going through my desk, i found this old thing i wrote last year while i was in florida.. has a date on it and everything (4/13/03).. waste your time with ( this ) atleast i've become a better writer since then, right? and that was a year + month ago, and i've changed with words and everything since then in what i write.. but meh, enough about all that.
congrats to sarah for passing the drivers test.. atleast she doesnt have to hide from her friends that she didn't make it.. because she did pass!
i got my ticket for ill nino/flaw/40 below summer.. can't wait to see them all again, it's been a few times for 40 below and ill nino, and second time for flaw.. last time i saw flaw, it was just days after i got my wisdom teeth out.. and i still went into the pit.. got knocked in the face a few times :)
erm. i want the AC on. now.
|
|
| hrmm |
[12 May 2004|10:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
demonhunter - i play dead |
] |
school is boring
thats why im stuck in law class typing this thing up for prisons and executions
i got john mccormack sitting infront of me and that bitch with the huge arm on the left of me.. im kinda afraid. ms val went whacko on me and stole my CD player but i took it back while she wasn't looking. bleeding through is soooooo good to listen to while you're in class doing nothing important. i've got study period next and then gym.. real ezzzzz
last period i did absolutely nothing, walked around the halls with mike vinci.. it was chill. then we played that dot game, where u make the boxes and such, on the board in the class. i <3 weds and it would have been nice to go to the beach in RI with nick and mike but i didnt because ive got work at 4.. meh.
:changes track to luti-kriss(norma jean) - pleasantly philadelphia:
yyyyyyyay.
nothing else for now. maybe if i want later, i'll type something during study.. but i doubt it.. byby
|
|
| it's hot in hell's kitchen |
[11 May 2004|06:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
flaw - worlds divide |
] |
^^^^^^
aaahhh. :wipes sweat off self:
cure eclipse: fun running in this temp, isnt it :-!
hot2molly44: omg
hot2molly44: i think im dying
cure eclipse: yeah its pretty bad
hot2molly44: yeaa
hot2molly44: and we made the mistake to run up lower lane to my house
hot2molly44: yikes
exactly. it's HOT out.
enough about how hot today was.. LAST NIGHT was pretty good. since nick's parents are still gone, i went over there after work and we chilled for a bit. had a few disalvo fuck bombs, lol. matt p was there too. mike r showed up for a few mins and then left when i did. no one else was around or the ones who were didnt wanna come over :(.. nick's parents are back on thurs.. so tomorrow is the last night to do anything chill at his house.
school was still boring, got to go outside which was nice but now it's just too damn hot. :x.. peace and stay cool :)
|
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| now i've put up with this for longer than my heart can |
[09 May 2004|11:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
flaw - endangered species |
] |
:rolls eyes:
time to look into ---> future
next weekend is like.. W I D E open for me. except the 9-3 thing on saturday, but psh. tell me at school/im me/leave a comment for ANYTHING to do next weekend, cause i'll do anything. really.
awoken by my cat licking my hand.. it was like 9.. so i guess it was hungry.. i'm just sooo excited about cleaning out their litter box too.. (Q: When do my parents come back? A: tomorrow!)
concerts.. hmmm.. concerts...
MAY 18
Ill Nino
Flaw
40 Below Summer
.. YES~!
JUN 11
Three Days Grace
.. *maybe*
and of course Ozzfest.
i don't really feel like doing anything today :/.. it's a gloomy day, and i wanna [fit in] with the weather.
i think i'll have a tic-tac that i stole from berlin pizza last night.. mmm orange.
my parents dont get back til tomorrow afternoon... and.. meh. it doesn't even matter that they're gone. i don't wanna over enjoy myself.. woooo . ok enough
i can not stop this ride
i am growing cold inside
i shouldn't let it slide
will sickness be mine?
i haven't found lyrics for the Flaw cd yet.. so that's my best guess at one of the songs.
ATLEAST I HAVE A SUPERDUPER NEAT NEW ICON
im bored, but i don't wanna do anything. wtf? yanks game better not get rained out.. cause then i'll have nothing to look forward to. meh. meh. meh. by.
Stalker Counter: 13
|
|
| now for an announcement |
[08 May 2004|11:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bleeding through - on wings of lead |
] |
1.Go into your journal archives.
2.Find your 23rd post.
3.Find the fifth sentence.
4.Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
"Lauren3175: happy birthday matt!"
good memories.
also...i'd like to direct your attention to the following:
Stalker Counter: 12
it will be put at the bottom of every entry.. as the number grows higher and higher.. everyday. it's going to be a great thing.
|
|
| i believe in you, i love you.. can you feel the air beneath our feet? |
[07 May 2004|02:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
flaw / atreyu |
] |
:opens winamp -> Flaw - Medicate:
<3 dismissals.. been home for 3 hours already
work @ 4.. til 9 :(
but saturday night should be the GOOD one. with my parents gone.. i'll get all my best friends and some women over for some good times ;p.. if you're a girl, hot, and wanna join in the festivities.. im me :)
it's a really nice day out.. gym class was great.. the seniors know how to take down the sophmores in a game of kickball.. fo sho.
too bad the yankees lost last night though :(.. but they're doing a lot better lately then they were in the beginning of the year.
:changes mp3 -> Flaw - Many Faces:
there's a bunch of people who i wanna hang out with..inside, or outside of the state. i hope i get a chance to before i get shipped out.. and i don't wanna wait til summertime =/.. cause it'll be too close to when i gotta go.
:changes mp3 -> Flaw - RecognizeEndangered Species:
i bet everyone will be home soon.. isn't it a good and sort of weird feeling to be home and see everyone come online and such.. sounds kind of weird, but you see these things happen that you usually don't.. and it's kind of interesting :O
:opens mind:
your eyes take me to a place
that has been left unseen
now that i'm here
don't expect me to leave
delicate
i could break your smile
in the drop of a pin
you've felt for me
while i can't, but i want to
what's holding me back?
when i'm holding you in my arms.
i think this is taking me farther
than i want to be
but i can go anywhere i want
as long as you have me
:closes mind:
i really think drew almost spent his whole school day in gym class.. that's awesome.. he's a siiiiiick baseball player by the way. i saw him hit it and then get to third.. almost getting out. kid can really hit ;p
:changes mp3 -> Atreyu - Bleeding Mascara:
aaahhh.. bliss. you know you make me smile. <3
oh!! and when you reverse audio.. you realize that britney spears is a slaveslut!
|
|
| never will you become something i can live with |
[06 May 2004|02:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relieved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
atreyu - bleeding mascara |
] |
::aaah::
relief.
feels good to get some annoying shit off your back, huh?
well i definelty dealt with it the worst way possible.. by not doing anything.. but that's ok. why would i try so hard for something i never wanted to do? prom is dumb, i went through it already, and i get more benefits out of it by not going. ::phew::
anyways.. the rest of the day sucked because we lost in hockey.. having 2 of our guys leave early on because they thought there wasn't a game, the other team ended up showing 20 minutes later... ugh. so it was me, nick, brian, and billy.. yeah lost 2-0.. go us.
get the new atreyu CD when it comes out.. and flaw! just got a hold of them last night/this morning.. and they're both awwwwesome cds. <3 them. AND 96 hours of music.. oh man :)
:deep breath:
:exhale:
aaaah. good to be free for next saturday night :)
oh and sarah came up with a good idea...
"o man i just had an idea while i was brushing my teeth! i think i should have a lj-friends award thingy.. like the grammys only more lame! o and u don't get a prize. k ready?!? ok look thru my friends page and then vote for ur favorites in the following categories:
most fun to read:
most meaningful:
most depressing:
best pictures:
best user pictures:
yeah make up ur own categories too!
mhm vote for ur favorites but be annonymous cause its a SECRET!"
you heard her.. go do it. :P
|
|
| puck you motherpucker |
[05 May 2004|10:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
breaking benjamin - break my fall |
] |
hockey tomorrow morning...
steriod rrrrrrrrrage!
still 2-1-1.. after a month+ of being inactive
(gay CAPT testing + assemblies)
( sarah is gonna owe me 6$ tomorrow.. you'll see. )
i wanna download music.. actually i'm waiting.. cause mIRC is slow, but hopefully soon i'll be getting new demonhunter and flaw.. mmm
speaking of flaw... ill nino+40below summer+flaw on the 18th.. i MUST see.
and ozzfest.. of course.. coming later on.. and i'm deciding.. go to six flags for a school field trip.. or go to a show that's up in mass... killswitch engage, in flames, as i lay dying.. woooow. hard decision? doubt it.. i think ill go to the show.
peace.
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